The Importance of Self Love as a Photographer
Self-love isn’t always the easiest thing to implement into our lives, often presenting numerous challenges along the way. It can be particularly tough to love ourselves in the same way we expect others to love and appreciate us. This journey requires patience and understanding, as we navigate through our own insecurities and self-doubt.
I speak on this topic passionately because I’ve experienced several levels of self-betrayal throughout my life, and I’ve had many days where I found myself looking at my own reflection in the mirror, feeling a deep sense of disdain for the image that was reflected back at me. These moments have not only shaped my understanding but have also fueled my commitment to addressing these feelings head-on.
I’ve spent several years dedicated to deeply exploring the intricate process that is my mind, and through this journey, I’ve successfully broken through many barriers that once significantly halted my progress in life, effectively preventing me from experiencing the numerous possibilities of joy and fully realizing my autonomy. Through determination and resilience, I have managed to overcome these obstacles that previously seemed insurmountable. That’s not to say that my insecurities no longer exist; rather, I have come to understand and appreciate the parts of myself that I considered flawed. I have learned to love them, as I recognize that even flaws can possess a unique charm and inherent beauty that contribute to my individuality.
While therapy and tuning into myself has been a profound blessing in my journey, the real vision came when I truly discovered how common feelings of self-loathing are all around the world, affecting countless individuals in various ways. Looking outside of myself and ultimately becoming a keen observer of people around me provided me with a unique perspective that I can’t easily forget. This experience opened my eyes to the intricate dynamics of human interaction and the diverse stories that each individual carries with them. The truth of the matter is, when you take a closer look at our lives and experiences, we’re not all that different from one another after all.
What was once just a simple trip to the beach quickly transformed into an insightful case study for me. Observing other women as they carried around different types of bodies and noticing not only how they proudly held themselves but also how they managed to focus their attention on those around them—this experience completely shifted my thought process altogether. I no longer look at any body type and think to myself, “Wow! That chick needs to put some clothes on and cover up her body” or “she is way too _______ to be wearing that." In fact, I’ve actually NEVER looked at a woman with such judgement. Instead, I find myself looking at every single body with a profound sense of admiration, coming to the realization that every body is uniquely different, and that is precisely why every body is inherently beautiful!
I used to pick myself apart on a daily basis for lacking all of the physical qualities that I thought women were supposed to possess in order to be fully accepted and embraced into the often elusive world of beauty. Growing up watching popular television shows like America’s Next Top Model probably didn’t help my thought process regarding body image and beauty standards. I often saw these very slender and long-legged bodies elegantly strutting down the runway, and I witnessed some of those talented women being disqualified simply for being deemed overweight. The issue wasn’t that they weren’t beautiful in their own right—because they truly were—but the problem lay in the harsh reality that they didn’t conform to the disturbing standards set by a shallow society. This society was quick to judge women based solely on appearance, often applying criteria that I consider to be borderline unrealistic and frequently associated with unhealthy lengths of physical torture. All of this was done for the fleeting reward of a cover photo and the coveted title of “America’s Next Top Model.”
The consequences of such contests don’t stop with the contestants on the show, as their influence reaches far beyond the immediate participants… I was a young girl watching these competitions unfold, and the unrealistic beauty standards they portrayed became embedded into my immature and still developing brain. At that time, I didn’t think it was acceptable or even normal to be a 5’6 curvy woman with short legs and some extra meat on her bones, which made me question my own self-worth and body image. If these incredibly beautiful and talented models couldn’t gain acceptance from society, how would the world ever respond to me and my own unique qualities? This is a question I have repeatedly asked myself for most of my life, and, of course, that uncertainty was once a significant problem for me. However, now I embrace that question with a sense of acceptance, self-love, and even some insightful answers that have come to me over time. This particular topic has increasingly become something that I passionately engage in and study in depth with other humans like me.
Moving past all of that, my journey of self-love has consisted of a handful of thoughtful tactics and helpful tools that aid me not only in my ongoing efforts to continue to fall deeply in love with myself but also to genuinely believe that I am beautiful in all the various phases I tend to go through. As a photographer—especially one focused on body empowerment—I find this to be incredibly important; it feels akin to the saying “practice what you preach,” doesn’t it? How can one effectively preach the concept of self-love if they do not actively engage in loving themselves? This question invites us to consider the authenticity of our messages and the importance of embodying the values we advocate.
When working with my incredibly brave and inspiring clients, the primary goal isn’t solely to fill their heads with an abundance of compliments and provide them with stunning photographs. Instead, the true aim for me is to facilitate an understanding that they don’t need to resemble anyone else to be genuinely beautiful in their own right. My mission is to thoughtfully document their journey as they navigate their unique features, all while saying goodbye to the pervasive negative self-talk and, most definitely, ridding themselves of the harsh echoing and imposing weight of societal "norms."
My body empowerment sessions are truly where my heart finds its rest as both a woman and a photographer. This is an area of my work that deeply resonates with me, as I have personally experienced the struggle and am actively living through the healing process. It is in these sessions that I connect with others on a profound level, sharing our journeys and embracing the transformative power of self-acceptance. I genuinely don’t believe that I would be the right person to photograph others in their most vulnerable selves, if I didn’t first love and accept myself in my own most vulnerable being as well. Embracing the complexities of who I am allows me to connect deeply with others, thereby fostering a safe space for genuine expression.
What would the outcome of a client's session look like if I hadn’t endured such a long and transformative journey? Well, as I shared in another blog post recently, it would likely consist of me taking photographs that I thought were merely flattering, rather than capturing the true essence of YOU. The editing process would likely mirror that of the individual who felt the need to alter my own images by editing out my curves, my freckles, and my stretch marks during my boudoir session a few years ago. That person couldn’t appreciate the beautiful qualities of my body; instead, she chose to remove the natural elements she didn’t think should exist, and she altered the parts of me that she believed needed fixing. She transformed a curvy, freckled, redhead with stretch marks and rolls into a fantasy version of Disney’s Ariel. This experience haunted me for quite a while. However, I eventually came to the important realization that the issue wasn’t with my so-called “flaws”; it was with the editor's lack of depth and her narrow mindset when it came to defining beauty standards. What a dull and uninspiring world it would be if we were all exactly the same in appearance. Would we all truly be considered beautiful if that were the case? The human body is, indeed, a magnificent work of art—each one of us is a unique masterpiece. While it is true that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, we are exactly as we are meant to be, and there isn’t a single person on this planet who is entitled to the role of deciding that we should conform to being someone else.
Whether you choose to work with me someday in the future, or perhaps decide that there is another photographer who meets your specific needs and requirements, please take a moment to consider the values and beliefs of your photographer. It is essential to never hesitate to question their perspectives regarding beauty standards and how they interpret them in their work. Their response is not only critical, but it should also align with your own expectations and values for a meaningful and authentic photographic experience.
If you should ever find yourself in a similar experience that I endured, please remember that someone else’s opinion of you is NONE of your business (respectfully) and also, unless stated in your signed contract that they will edit and alter your body to reflect THEIR version of how they think you should be- you reserve the right to be photographed as you are and leave with a final product that says “girl, you are PHENOMENAL”- and if you still don’t believe that, keep showing up until you do because the truth will always remain the same.
Love you all! Now go love yourselves too! <3
-AG-